It’s all so bizarre. I laid in bed with my nearly teenage daughter before she went to sleep last night and she asked “how’s your blogging going Mum?”. I was quite taken aback because if there is one thing that my daughter is good at is the whole ‘banter’ thing yet this was a sincere and genuine enquiry. I answered her honestly and said I felt I had a bit of a writer’s block at the moment. She came back with a wealth of advice about tiny things in a day that could be a great source from which to build a blog. She further advised that I write down whatever comes into my head during the day, as she does, as this helps her make sense of her day and interactions. I kissed her goodnight and here I sit thinking about her words still in awe of my daughter’s insight and wisdom.
I feel slightly lost now when I don’t blog. I feel invigorated and mentally revived after writing. Anyway, I digress.
Felix had a day off school yesterday. His third Tuesday this term. He was so wiped out he couldn’t even raise a smile let alone manage a day at school. Twelve hours of silence and solitude and he is back in fine spirits but another reminder that he is still in treatment. We kind of forget this now; or at least we try to. Only this week I looked at our plans for this weekend and felt a surge of excitement. We have things planned, normal things. Things that we used to do. Things that we used to take for granted.
And this is life. A few steps forward and a few steps back. A bit like salsa dancing if I remember rightly from the few classes I attended in the 90s. Another ‘new hobby’ before kids, when I had so much time I literally had no idea what to do with it all! Life is a dance and depending where we are will depend on the moves we are making. At times, life might be graceful like the waltz, energetic like the jive or repetitive like the twist. Whatever the rhythm, we are dancing to the beat and if we recognise what the tune is, it may help us make sense of where we are at.
Until Felix was diagnosed, I would’ve described our life as a jazz dance. We shimmied along with highs and lows but little drama or recourse. During the intense part of treatment we were dancing in time but in a trance like state; completely lost in the tune we were in, oblivious of the world around us. There were days when things went as choreographed as a line dance yet other days when we were as emotional and passionate as the Tango. Right now, I’d say we were dancing a salsa. We are working towards keeping our body straight whilst our steps are constantly going backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards.
Life is a series of dance moves. What is yours right now? I’d love to know.