08 Feb Apologies for my Blogging Silence
It’s been a long time since I last blogged – 28th October 2018 in fact. I have been acutely aware of this radio silence and it’s been bugging me. Why the white noise in my head? Why no thoughts, feelings or opinions? Why have I lost my voice?
It is now clear.
As death took the life of a wonderful young girl, my words became futile and meaningless. My thoughts and feelings were so trivial when others were living with such enormity and extremity. My blog seemed so small, so meaningless, so pointless.
I wanted to write about how proud I was of Felix’s progress and accomplishments at school, the power and determination he demonstrated on the football pitch and his relentless positivity and humour. I wanted to share how amazing Talia and Rufus are; they continue to astound me with their kindness, thoughtfulness and consideration. I wanted to celebrate how far we’d come and how, despite everything, our marriage still held together with love, respect and laughter.
But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. There were no other options left for this beautiful young girl. Her family devastated by the news and terrified of the future. It was heartbreaking, and still is.
Then, out of the blue, someone commented on one of my blogs:
| Thank you so much for this. My 13 year old daughter is about 3 weeks (hopefully) away from maintenance and can’t wait to go back to school. I have struggled to find positive blogs on maintenance as despite the 2 months of delays due to many infections, she has smiled over something every day and has so much vitality. She read this post and is determined that she will achieve the impressive 87% attendance record as well as return to all her beloved sports. As a family, we have remained positive despite some very dark days. Your words strike a chord with me as I appear to be “coping” really well but I know I will have a meltdown at some point. Thanks again and look forward to your future posts. |
This one comment gave
So, this is it I’m back. I’m back writing with the memory of this special young lady constantly in my mind. I will continue to do all I can to help raise funds and fight for better funding, more research and kinder treatments for childhood cancer.
Let’s do this thing!
Jodie bright
Posted at 14:09h, 08 FebruaryThrough your inspirational words and down to earth writing it’s good to see you back doing what you do so well!!!! Looking forward to reading more and of your blogs ker!! Xx
Kerry Brown
Posted at 19:53h, 10 FebruaryThank you, Jo – onwards and upwards! xxx
Joanne
Posted at 08:17h, 12 FebruaryWelcome back , I struggle with my son doing “ well “ when I read so many heartbreaking stories on ( it feels) like a daily basis . People don’t seem to get why I can’t get excited and why our life isn’t back to normal, the constant worry of “ what if “ never goes away xx
Kerry Brown
Posted at 16:44h, 14 FebruaryHi Joanne,
It’s always there, isn’t it? Sometimes, just for a bit, the pain and the hurt goes away. Then something I read or hear or even smell can make it come back as quickly as it went.
I am determined to make this spell of excitement last for as long as I can make and return to my mantra – at this moment, at this time, life is good!
Love to you all xxx
GeeGee
Posted at 17:56h, 25 FebruaryThank you so much and welcome back!