Life’s Firsts

When we’re born it’s all about our firsts.  Our first poop, our first smile, our first sleep through the night.  Then we celebrate the first step, the first word, the first day at school.  It’s all about firsts.

As we get older those firsts dwindle but they are still as important.  The first date, the first job, the first baby.  They are still there but less often.  That is until some form of trauma or loss occurs.

I now find myself relishing firsts in the same way as I did when the children were first-born.  Since Felix’s diagnosis, firsts have become all-encompassing; the first haircut, the first birthday, the first Christmas.  We are currently increasing clinic visits to three weeks for the first time, Felix got winded for the first time yesterday, we are soon to go on our first holiday abroad since Felix was diagnosed.

When we are growing, these firsts are exciting and exhilarating.  This time around I approach these firsts with caution and trepidation.  I can remember last year as the first Christmas loomed upon us – I was pleased and relieved to see it come and go.  The seconds are easier, this is now the #newnormal.

This occupation we have with firsts are apparent not only following trauma but also through loss.  Any first moment, experience or occasion without a loved one is significant and tough.  My heart goes out to all of those experiencing firsts through loss.

We all have and do live through these firsts.  When we are younger, firsts tended to be emblazoned with happiness and delight.  As we get older our firsts become shrouded in hope and resilience.  It is this hope and resilience that is #beinghuman.  In the most emotionally charged moments, we survive.  We survive because we are driven by our inner soul and our we are motivated by our mindset. We know that we have to live through these firsts before they become a last.

As our first foreign holiday approaches, I am drawing on everything that is #beinghuman so that I enjoy and relish how lucky we are to have this first.  I have to bury my worries and caution and replace my feelings with the happiness and delight that I remember from those wonder years.

I really can’t wait for the second though!

#beinghuman #doit #blogit

Life's firsts

 

 

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Find the Wonderful in Today

Such a simple message but one which often gets overlooked in our busy and hectic lives.  The older we get, the more we seem to miss the wonder and awe in the world around us.  Find the Wonderful in Today is the family motto of the Codling Family – a unique family who now offer a sanctuary within the dunes of Perranporth in memory of their son Charlie.

In March 2012,  Charlie Codling was suddenly diagnosed with a Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (DIPG), an incurable brain tumour.  Devastatingly after only 5 months, Charlie passed away on 6 September 2012, just 2 weeks before his 5th birthday.  The family was fortunate to be surrounded by many amazing friends and family who not only gave them unwavering support but they also raised a staggering amount of money which helped them forge some wonderful memories with Charlie.

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Charlie Codling

As a fitting memorial to Charlie, they decided to start the charity: Charlie’s Beach Hut Fund.   Charlie’s, is a beach hut style caravan at Perran Sands in Perranporth which aims to provide families of children with life limiting illnesses and families of firefighters that have suffered bereavement, or life changing injury whilst in the line of duty, a relaxing environment so they can forge some forever memories, in a hope that they too can ‘Find the Wonderful in Today’.

We were honoured to be invited to spend some time at Charlie’s just months after Felix was diagnosed.  This was the first date that we put in our diary; this was the first time we looked to the future.  That was April 2016 and we have just returned from a wonderful time away.

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I have never visited a place before that is enriched with such emotion and tranquility.  You could feel the love, warmth and compassion emanating from all aspects of this special hut on the cusp of the sea.  With the sun on our faces and waves close by, we had all the therapy we needed in those five days.  We couldn’t help but be inspired by Charlie’s love for life, strength, humour and caring nature and found strength from spending time in his memory.  The proximity of the sea and the beautiful views allowed us to relax in the beauty of the natural world.  Although we never met Charlie, we will forever remember him, Karen, Steve, Freya and Isla as Charlie’s Hut provided us with such a sense of peace, love and togetherness which we could not have experienced anywhere else.

There are many charities such as Charlie’s Hut which are founded through loss of a loved-one.  These charities provide families a unique opportunity to look to the future and provide a sanctuary to make memories and simply enjoy living.  These charities mean so much to the families they help and support.

We will be forever grateful to Charlie’s Hut for the memories we made there.  It really is one of the most unique and awe-inspiring places you will ever find.

If you have two minutes, please help raise awareness about Charlie’s Beach Hut Charity and help more families Find the Wonderful in Today.  Thank you.